A LIE: THE ULTIMATE HERO Series 1

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The Duo

A LIE is usually one of those things that everyone dislikes. They score the highest rating on people’s ‘shitty list’ (preferably referred to in formal terms as ‘things I don’t like list’).

A LIE can be said to be despicable, annoying, an easy way out of responsibility, betrayal and the list goes on. In simple terms, a LIE is one of those things opposite to the truth or a false representation of information of any particular fact. A LIE is majorly seen as a bad attribute, even if a lot of us indulge in it from time to time. Therefore, for the purpose of this write-up let’s stick to the definition of a LIE asany information opposite to true facts.

I guess you might probably be wondering what is so amazing to write about a LIE. Well, if you stay a little patient with me, I think…

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4 REASONS WHY FART IS HEALTHY.

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Flatulence is the medical term for releasing gas. The common word used to refer to flatulence is fart and as okay as this word seems, it is considered vulgar or offensive in some parts of the world. It is a normal and healthy bodily function.

In Nigeria, the pidgin word for flatulence or fart as you might like to call it is “mess”. I now understand why most Nigerians call it “mess”, to think of it, who would want to tell someone who had just farted that “he had just unleashed a noxious flatulence?” Like really? Who has the time to pronounce those words when the fart smell is so offensive? C’mon Cubers, I know we can’t even think when we perceive another’s fart smell. I practically feel nobody can even remember the word “fart” not to talk of “flatulence” when someone “pollutes the air” and especially when it smells like rotten eggs or dungs.

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Everyone farts. Your boss at the office farts. That very tush girl you are crushing on farts even when it seems she doesn’t. That well-to-do Pastor you think doesn’t even know what toilet is, farts. Those high and mighty individuals you look up to as gods, fart too. Everyone does it but no one admits it…isn’t that true Cubers?

Research has proven that the average person passes gas anywhere 14 times a day and 20 daily toots is not abnormal. The odour and noise may offend but it is healthy especially when you are following a nutritious diet that contains gas-producing foods such as  beans, corn, garlic, onions, oats, wheat, cabbage, potatoes etc.

So, for our consumption, I’d be bringing on the table 4 reasons why farting is healthy for everyone.

1. It brings relief

The very first thing that happens to every individual immediately after a fart is relief. C’mon now, don’t get all reserved on me. You know what I’m talking about. Like seriously, that sweet sensation of “I did a good job” kinda thing is how we feel when we release gas. A relieved body is a relaxed mind.

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Proud self.../Google image

Imagine holding up your gas just because you’re in a particular public who look up to you for solutions and after a brief moment, you let go and because you tried holding it a little longer, the smell becomes more offensive when released at the later stage. Being the boss, you tell others that you’re perceiving a fowl smell and obviously, no one would blame the guy in a Tuxedo. Heads begin to turn to people who have a natural guilty face even when they aren’t guilty but because your a detective on fart smell you tell yourself that it is that guy who’s face is seemingly guilty that did it. but hey Mr. Seemingly guilty face, that ain’t your fault. We all go through that “I-know-people-think-I-did-it-but-it-ain’t-me” kinda thing. you tried your very best honey. Maybe you should change your attitude from “I think I might be the one” to “Hell no! That smell ain’t my type”.

2. It gets rid of waste.

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This simply means that your body releases the stinky gas as a part of its digestion process. It helps to expel the parts of digested food that could not be used or turned into energy for the body to use. When you fart and it smells really bad, don’t feel bad or shocked, you got yourself there, I mean really who eats beans and gets shocked for a stinky gas he or she released? So, when your seating close to a new face, you might want to know a little about him and his health issues just so that when nature calls to give into the world what God has deposited in you, you better know your target and not just another innocent party. Who knows? You might just be saving a life.

3. It prevents infection

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According to Kashyap, a gastroenterologist, eating foods that cause gas is the only way for the microbes in the gut to get nutrients and when gut microbes gobble up foods and create gas, they also make molecules that boost the immune system, protect the lining of the intestine and prevents infection.

There are infections despite constant exposure to the human emissions (flatulence). But the obvious fact still remains that without the healing properties of fart, sickness rates could be much higher than they are.

4. It helps ease out abdominal bloating.

According to Dr. Lisa Ganijhu, a doctor of osteopathy and a clinical assistant professor of medicine and gastroenterology at Langone Medical Centre in New York City, any air builds in your gastrointestinal tract will eventually try to escape and if it cannot find a clear passage through your body, it would more likely push its way upwards in the intestinal tract causing bloating in the midsection.

Bloating is a condition in which the abdomen feels uncomfortably full and may be visibly swollen. One of the many reasons of bloating is overeating.
The second most common cause of temporary bloating is gas in the abdomen. If the gastrointestinal tract does not move it through efficiently, gas builds up in the intestines, causing bloating and discomfort. Farting then helps to ease out abdominal bloating.

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Dear viewers, your body does its best to breakdown all the diverse junks you feed it. Gas is just its little way of saying thanks. Next time you feel the need to fart, and there is no motivation leading you on, shove your shoulders, tuck your gas in and find privacy to let it out because you know what, no one can release it like you do and no one would value the outcome like you will. That’s why you have to fart when you’re alone. After all, you are a risk-taker. Take the risk alone puhleez. We are okay being in our comfort zones while you do so.

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And when you truly can’t hold it any longer in public, please release it. After all, who told them to perceive it? It was their own decision. Ride on honey. Just don’t cross my path though. Cheers cubers.

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